When I first came to the Netherlands (20 years ago), I never heard about the present-giving and surprises on the 5th December. I really enjoyed the whole creativity of having to make-up your own poem and russle something up that resembled a surprise present.

Then when I had my daughter, the leading up to Saint Nicolas took on such proportions. Riding into town on his horse, having first being on his boat from Spain. Putting something in her shoe and singing special songs to the saint. I thought it was so special and endearing. That feeling didn’t last long!

As my daughter got older I began to dread his visit. Not only had I to help make a ‘surprise’’ for the family get together but the hockey club, the violin class, the school, the theatre club, all had to celebrate the Saint as well. I had to start planning already in October what kind of works of art I could assist in! There is nothing worse than being at school and the other mothers comparing the surprises that have been made.

One year, my daughter made a big liquorice all-sort which resembled a cross between a pink coconut and a wheel of fortune. It was all her own work mind. Meanwhile, other kids' fathers had put together whole hockey fields made of wood or football arenas, painted to perfection. There was my poor kid crying her eyes out because the other kids made fun of her creation and the mothers looked at me as if it was all my fault. Talk about daggers in your heart. So I started cheating as well. Helping out as much as I could so that eventually my daughter just sat there giving me instructions! A complicated cardboard guitar, a paper machee football, that had to be perfectly painted, a giant chimney with a giant Zwarte Piet’s hand. The list was endless. I started looking up on internet sites all the possibilities that one could think of.

My girlfriend (also Irish) would come over and we would spend a whole day creating pieces of art that would be good enough to be exhibited. And the worst thing of all was that they would be torn up in two minutes to reach in for the real present inside! We would huff and puff and paint and glue and sweat through the whole process. We would be helped along the way by singing our own version of the sweet Saint songs. “Sod the Saint and ship him off to Siberia” is one rendition that comes to mind!

We were doing our best not to let the side down. After all, we were the foreigners and the pressure was on us to integrate our kids into the Dutch way of life. So, we had to exaggerate our works of art even more! It really got out of hand when a 6 foot Eiffel Tower had to be delivered into the class room by three people. The Leaning Tower of Pisa had to be propped into the car for the hockey party. It stuck out of the boot by at least 3 feet. I hung on for dear life in the back seat making sure it didn’t fly out of the car! What about the giant football shoe which was put on my bike handles and I was nearly killed in the traffic. I couldn’t see where I was bloody well going!

To top it all, my King Kong effigy was a disaster when my daughter (then 7 years of age) howled “But Daphne loves princesses, not monkeys..."

I proceeded to decapitate the giant gorilla and a Dolly Parton look-alike was surgically re-assembled. Her exceptionally long arms and very bandy legs were luckily not too critically acclaimed. My ever-enthusiastic daughter exclaimed "I know where we can put the present. Between her legs. There is loads of space there!"

I looked up to the heavens (behind her back) and mouthed “There is a God!” Need I say more…

But it was all worth it when my daughter won first prize for her surprise two years running. She was so proud of her packet of crayons while the other mothers gave me dagger-looks. These were challenging looks of ”we will win next year if it kills us” and I would look back at them with my answering glare "JUST BLOODY WELL TRY..."
 

Oh to the joys of Dutch integration and assimilation. But I have to admit I do miss it. My daughter is in secondary school now and they only give little presents. No artistic endeavours. I calculated that over a time-span of 8 years, my girlfriend and I created over 80 surprises. No mean feat, if I say so myself!
 

Have a wonderful 5 December...

Niamh

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